How to Become an Alpha Male and Be More Attractive to Women

How to Be an Alpha Male

We all know someone who seems to have that never-ending stroke of luck in their career, social, and sex lives. They get the promotion, they are surrounded by friends, and they are getting laid more in a week than you have in the last year. What’s the secret? These guys have mastered alpha male characteristics that put them at the top of the food chain.

Is the alpha male status reserved only for a chosen few? Not at all. If you want to know how to be an alpha male, there are things you can start doing right now to go from beta to alpha.

Smart man sat on red sofa with 4 women

What is an Alpha Male?

Do you constantly hear the term being used in blogs and podcasts, but you’re still asking yourself, “What is an alpha male?”

The alpha male is a term that has been plucked from the animal kingdom, describing the man that is at the top of his game. For a guy, that means strength, both physical and mental, charisma, confidence, and a number of other positive character traits that seem to draw people like a magnet.

The opposite would be a beta male or a man who embodies doubt, fear, and worry, allowing his insecurities to keep him from new and exciting opportunities.

Let’s take a closer look at the alpha male traits you should start to focus on.

Man sat relaxed on bike in garage

Alpha Man Traits You Need to Master

While no two alphas are the same, in general, alpha males do share a similar set of personality and character traits that help them secure their status at the top. Here are the most common alpha male traits.


Hands down, this is the number one alpha male trait that sets every alpha miles away from the beta male. Studies show that confidence is directly related to happiness when you have it, and feelings of loneliness when you don’t.

Confidence is all about being sure of yourself, even if failure is a very real possibility. Confidence shows that you trust yourself and your ability. Doubt kills charisma, but confidence sets it ablaze. It’s this one trait that seems to turn alpha males into social magnets.


Not every alpha male is jacked like The Rock or surrounded by bikini clad women like a modern-day Don Juan. Masculinity is as much a state of mind as it is a physical thing.

Masculine alpha males know exactly what they want and they go after it without serving up excuses. Sure, the traditional mustache, muscles, and cut jawline don’t hurt, but masculinity has evolved beyond this.

Confident business man sat at desk


Yes, alpha males know exactly what they want and they go after it leaving no other option than to get it, but here’s the thing: they still maintain an attitude and demeanor of politeness and civility. True alpha males are not rude.

They don’t act like a pushy gorilla when something isn’t going their way. Rather, they are assertive. Being assertive means confidently going after what you want without being aggressive, pushy, or hostile. Be direct and be polite to get what you want.

Risk Taker

Life is too short to follow the same predictable road to mediocrity. Alpha males understand that without risk, there is no reward. That doesn’t mean you have to become an Indiana Jones figure, exploring ancient tombs, hunting for lost cities and gold (although that does sound badass).

Taking risks is all about going after your dreams and goals, despite the fact that there’s a tremendous amount of risk involved. Alpha males will look at the odds that are against them and roll the dice anyway.

Athletic man stretching before bouldering

Get Rid of these Beta Male Traits

In the same way that you need to embrace more alpha male traits, you also need to rid yourself of beta male characteristics that are keeping you in the friend zone.

Lack of Confidence

If you are walking around without confidence, women can sense it. Studies show that women are ridiculously good at reading body language and when you have your tail between your legs, they see it.

Ditch the shy and timid act. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your head held high.

Nice Guy Syndrome

We all know someone who is the typical nice guy; maybe it’s you. The guy that is a people pleaser, goes out of his way to impress a girl, and doesn’t stand up for himself because he doesn’t want to “cause trouble.” Don’t be this guy.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk, but say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t let people push you around. Stand your ground and let someone know when they’ve crossed a line or when you don’t want to do something.

Does Not Show What He Really Wants

Continuing with the point above, if someone asks you what your preference is, tell them! Don’t try to play the card where everyone wins.
It’s okay to compromise, but don’t start off with the sentence, “I’m okay with whatever you want to do.” Women hate it and other men get annoyed by it. Be the leader in the group and tell everyone what you want when asked.

Can’t Overcome His Fear

There’s not an alpha male out there that hasn’t had to overcome a fear. Studies show that exposure to the thing you’re afraid of is the only way to get over it. More on this below.

Bearded hipster men staring at skull

How to Become an Alpha Male

You know what not to do (beta male traits), but let’s explore exactly what you have to do to understand how to be an alpha male.

Work on Your Weaknesses and Strengths

Make a list with your weaknesses on the left side and your strengths on the right side. Consider your fears, bad habits, and beta traits. Pick one and work on it until you’ve overcome it, then move on to the next thing on the list.

Stop Copying Other Men

Copying a popular personality is exactly what people don’t want to see. The world is full of copycats; what it lacks is originality and guys who are brave enough to embrace what they like.

Focus on What You Want

Another list that you should create and consistently update is a solid list of goals and things you want to achieve. Just like in the first example, pick the most important goal and work on it until you accomplish it. Once you do, move on to the next one.

Become Assertive

Practice being more assertive in small ways such as speaking up when someone is rude to you and telling them you don’t appreciate it, when you’re asked about your opinion, or when you want something, but you need to be direct.

Live on Your Own Terms

There are so many damn rules in life about what you should and shouldn’t do, but have you ever stopped to consider how your ideal life should look?

Be sure to wake up every day, committed to living your best life, and don’t throw your dignity under the bus to save face. Alpha males are true to who they are and the life they want.

Face Your Fears

Going off of the list from above, what fears do you want to conquer? If you are scared of talking to girls, the only way to get better at it is to start doing it more often. Start with small talk or ask for directions. Eventually, work your way up to full conversations. Above all, practice, practice, practice.

Learn to Deal with Conflict

Alpha males don’t need to pound their chests. They don’t need to scream and shout. Alpha males handle conflict with a calm but stern demeanor, seeking to understand the situation before speaking or acting. Children throw tantrums, alpha males seek to resolve conflict peacefully.

Handsome middle aged man walking in autumn

Alpha Males and Testosterone Levels

Testosterone levels are usually associated with brutish men, who focus more on being the strongest than being cooperative. Studies show that it’s actually the complete opposite.

Being an alpha male, testosterone levels, and practicing altruism all correlate, suggesting that men with healthy levels of testosterone are more likely to play nice with others while being an effective leader.

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It’s no coincidence that the guys who are confident, self-assured, and assertive get the promotion, the girl, and admiration. Alpha males aren’t born alpha; they learn all the alpha male traits mentioned above and you can too.

Focus on improving one trait at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself. Over time, you’ll find that your personality shifts to being more alpha.

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